Like Harry Potter With A...

vagina. Something I heard said on tv recently. I'm not even kidding, tv has just gotten strange.

So, I've been thinking about what I've been thinking about recently, and it turns out, I'm still thinking about the same person I was thinking about before, just differently now. Despite my best efforts she remains on my thoughts. Naturally, my first thought is "just let it go, you lost." My second thought is "say more prayers, even if you can't help someone directly, you can always put in a good word for them." My third, and the most interesting one to me is "maybe you're just affraid that you're not going to meet another person like her, especially since it's rare that you're even interested in another person." Yeah, to tell the truth, I think that's it. I just have to have faith that there are more interesting, attractive women out there who are my intellectual equal, or at least capable of free thought. To some degree I think I'm losing faith in women, because, despite their best efforts, a lot of them fall in line with the classic american conception of what a women should be, and 9 times out of 10, I don't find that very interesting.

I guess I bring this up, because the other day my sister made a comment about me getting married. To which I replied that I don't even meet that many women for that to be a viable option at the moment. So, god bless her, her heart's in the right place, she suggest things like picking up women in the supermarket. Hmmm... not quite my style. It's hard to get to know someone while standing in the cereal aisle. "Woah, you like poptarts, I totally like poptarts too. We should go out!" Hmmm... yeah, I can't see that. Especially since I have this backwards sort of way of doing things. I generally have to love a person before I even care enough to put the effort into wanting to get closer to them. This isn't very hard for me, cuz, on some level or another, I generally love everybody, especially my friends. But for me, I can't find enough interesting about the person to become lost in them, then what the hell's the point? That's just another friend the way I see it. I suppose if I operated by the nromal rules, the goal would be sex, and making deep connections wouldn't really be necessary, but I'm Baha'i, thus the goal is not sex, the goal is spiritual growth (first and formmost at least). I can't say that this system really "works" persay, but in the universe that exists as my perceptions in my head, it just makes more sense that way. Deep, now art

This looks to be the next of my seraph collection, currently titled "Touch-A-Seraph", or something like that, I'm not sure yet. It's actually kind of boring by comparison, especially without colors. My thinking is that I'm going to actually shade it, and make it a real pencil drawing. I don't do that much, but I suppose it's within my reach. Originally this was going to be more macabre, but it just didn't go that route. It started just from the base sketch I did, and took a turn away from the dark when I found myself inspired by a waitress at Mary Angela's. Every time I looked at her, her back was facing me. She wasn't wearing anything special, but still, there was something I found artistically interesting about her. In fact, the seraph is wearing far more interesting clothes than the waitress was. It's wierd what one gets inspired by. Personally, I hope I can figure out something to make it a more interesting drawing, but, if not, there's always next time.



MOOD
sinister: (I really like this one, I've been looking for an excuse to use this one. You don't know me, I might really be sinister, diabolical even.)